chitika

Wednesday 31 December 2014

LAUGHING STOCK


LAUGHING STOCK



JOKES I LIKED FROM FEW PEOPLE

Two wives are talking.
1st Lady:  Which Book affected you most in your life?
2nd Lady:  My husband's chequebook

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Mere Kuch dost PK dekhne gaya
ticket ka rate dekh ke
Toh PK aa gaye.

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An ad in a matrimonial.
"WANTED WIFE!  Age no bar,
weight no bar, Looks no bar, Caste no Bar, Education no bar
BUT GIRL'S FATHER 
must have his own BAR.

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A mouse is speaking to Elephant.
"2 din ke liya Apni Kameez Dena."
Elephant: "Ha Ha Ha... pehnega kya?"
Mouse:  Nahi, Beti Ki Shaadi Hai, Tent Lagwana Hai.

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Boyfriend text to his Girlfriend.
BF:  Hi
GF:  Hello
BF:  Kahan par ho?
GF:  Mai apne papa ki BMW mein club ja rahi hoon.  Abhi driver mujhe clob chodd dega Uske baad mai mall mein shopping ke liye jaungi.  Tum kahan par hai?
BF:  Bus mein tumhari seat ke piche.  Tum ticket matt lena maine le li hai.

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A Husband in a Bookstore.
"Do you have a book called 'Husband-the master of the House?"
Sales Girl:  "Sir, Comics are on the 1st floor..!"

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Wife:  Mujhe burger khana hai.
Husband ne la kar de diya.
Wife:  Thanks.
Husband:  Sirf thanks?
Wife:  Achha toh tum kiss chahte ho?
Husband:  Bakwas mat kar adha adha kar.

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Best ad given by married man on OLX.com
"A weeding suit for sale, used only once by "MISTAKE."

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Boy:  Woh Konsi ungli hai jisme haddi nahi hoti?
Friend: Nahi Pata.
Boy:  GLOVE ki ungli.

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If You call your Mother as "MUM"
Wha will you call your mother's younger sister and Elder sister?
"MINIMUM"
"MAXIMUM"

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A Guy searching on Google.
"How to Tackle a Wife?
Google Search Results.
"Good Morning, Sir!  Even We are Searching..."

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A man was walking in rain
A beautiful lady:  Why Don't you share my umbrella?
Man:  NO sister its fine (and he walked away)

Moral:
Moral Voral Kuch Nai Piche Biwi aa rahi thi.

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Teacher:  Shaadi ke waqt Dulhey ko Ghode par Kyun bithaya jata hai...?
Last warning di jati hai ke..
Abhi Bhi waqt Hai BHAAG ja...

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